Life in cartoon motion...

Last week I finally managed to download and watch Michael Bay's "Transformers: The Movie"", and no Reader, this post is not going to be a review of that 144 minutes of glorious CGI that left me stunned and speechless for a good half hour after the end credits vanished into darkness, and kept my eyes peeled for Camaros and 18-Wheelers over the next two days on the streets of London.

Yes I thoroughly enjoyed the movie, and yes, unlike many Transformer purists, I have already forgiven Mr Bay for not keeping with "Bumblebee" being a Volkswagen and making "Jazz" sound like a ghetto thug... Instead, I will thank Mr Bay for re-enacting an almost forgotten institution that every child of the 80's would remember with fondness. Cartoons in the 80s were exciting and funny and cheesy and outrageous all at once and (thank God!!) made long before political correctness went silly. It was the standard routine to rush back after a morning session of school, mop up as much homework as you could before 4 pm and then plonk in front of the television for a daily inoculation of MASK, HE-Man, Masters of the Universe, Scooby-Doo, Tiny Toons, Dinosaucers, Dungeons and Dragons, Count Duckula, Heathcliff... awwwww Lo-o-oord! The list could go on and on and on...

Funny thing I realise now - I probably never watched any cartoons before the 80s. Cartoons were always frowned upon in my family as being violent and brash splashes of colour that kept me from completing my Math homework, and so I had to watch them on the sly. My mother kept me under very close scrutiny throughout my primary school days, and my TV diet then consisted of Michael Landon's Little House on the Prairie at 7.30 pm garnished with two little squares of a Cadburys Fruit and Nut Bar before I went to bed. Yes, those were the days when I was made to go to bed at 8.30, and I invariably fell asleep and into dreams of running through daisy dusted meadows and fishing in creeks chock full of little trout. I got a little Mickey Mouse from time to time of course, but my exposure to animation was set firmly within the boundaries of wholesome Disney for a good while, until I turned 12.

My most vivid memories of my secondary school days include me and my sister sitting in my living room, our eyes fastened on a flashing cartoon, and our ears straining towards the front door for footsteps or a jangle of keys. The moment I heard any kerfuffle behind the door, it was all systems go for the both of us. Operation Cover Up was a marvel of skill and speed - rivalling even good ol' Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael and Michaelangelo in all their "Turtle Power". Within three seconds, I would fling myself towards the power point and flick the switch off; my sister would smooth out the couch free of any tell-tale creases; and the piece of genius I was responsible for was the cold wet cloth we kept nearby, which we very quickly draped over the top of the TV for a whole two seconds to cool off the hot surface. My father would come home, and among the first habitual things he did after he took off his shoes, was to run his hand over the top of the TV to detect if we had been watching those confounded cartoons again. Naturally, if Operation Cover Up failed (as it did on more than one occasion) we resorted to Operation Run Away... which was a last ditch effort to escape the "rotan" (a long thin bamboo-like stick my father kept in his room) which had no difficulty in finding out the location of our most tender and sensitive skin. Ouch!!!

So what was your favourite 80s cartoon Reader? Didn't you just LOVE those theme songs!? Can you remember this one?

Masked Crusaders, working overtime, Fighting crime, fighting crime!

Secret Raiders who will neutralise, as soon as they arrive (at the site!)

Trakkers gonna lead the mission...

And Spectrum's got such super vision!

Muh Muh Muh Muh M.A.S.K!!

It's the mighty power that can save the day...

Muh Muh Muh Muh M.A.S.K!!!

No-one knows what lies behind the masquerade...

Muh Muh Muh Muh M.A.S.K!!!

Always riding hot on Venom's trail...

Come see the laser rays...

Fire-away!!!

Or what about this?

Life is like a hurricane
here in Duckburg

Race cars, lasers, aeroplanes -

it's a duck blur

You might solve a mystery

or rewrite history Duck Tales, Oo-oo

Tales of daring-do, bad and good luck tales, oo-oo

...D-d-d-danger, watch behind you -

there's a stranger out to find you

What to do? Just grab onto some Duck Tales, oo-oo!

Not pony tails or cotton tails but Duck Tales, oo-oo!

Or this one:

Heathcliff, Heathcliff, no one should
Terrify their neighborhood

But Heathcliff just won't be outdone

Playing pranks on everyone...
...The gang will reign supreme

And no one can deny

They'll make some history

And always have an alibi
So join in the jubilee

The cats are great, they'll all agree

You'll find in each calamity

The cat's superiority

Oh....

Remember the time when it was all about these little blue creatures in the forest?

La, la, la, la, la, la, sing a happy song

La, la, la, la, la, la, Smurf the whole day long

(whistle) - Smurf along with me

(whistle) - simple as can be

Next time you're feeling blue just let a smile begin

Happy things will come to you so Smurf yourself a grin.

(Gargamael speaks) "Ooh, I hate Smurfs! I'll get you, I'll get all of you, If it's the last thing I'll ever do!"

La, la, la, la, la, la, now you know the tune

La, la, la, la, la, la, you'll be Smurfing soon.

and remember when every one knew the words to this one:

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,

Heroes in a half shell

Turtle power!

Splinter taught them to be ninja team,(he's a radical rat)

Leonardo lead's, Donatello does machines.(that's a fact jack)

Rapheal is cool but crude,(give me a break)

Michaelangelo is a party dude.(party)

Well Reader... what can I say... they don't make 'em now like they used to hey?!

I found these cartoon montages on YouTube, and watched them through with a mixture of nostalgia and embarrassment last night. So, why don't you do the same, and then let me know which ones you still remember and smile about...

And I promise not to laugh if you admit that you liked "My Little Pony and Friends"... (*snicker!!*)

~~~

And even though everything must change...

When I was 19 years old I sat cross legged on the tiled floor of my dorm room at University, and listened enraptured to Oleta Adams sing:

Everything must change
nothing stays the same
everyone must change
no one stays the same
the young become the old
and mysteries do unfold
cause that's the way of time
nothing and no one goes unchanged
there are not many things in life
you can be sure of
except rain comes from the clouds
sun lights up the sky
and hummingbirds do fly


And as Oleta's warm voice filled my room then, I soaked in a very adolescent melancholy (a product of too much heavy reading, too many depressing songs and altogether not enough living), and the young philosopher that I fancied I was nodded sagely to myself, truly believing I understood the depth of the words I heard.


Sixteen years later I hold my head in my hands to shut off the consistent and insistent Tick-Tick-Tock of Time, and fondly long for the "do-you-remember-reunions" and wonder the "what-could-have-beens " and "whatever-happened-tos"... while all around me I realise... Everything HAS Changed.


My mother prepares for retirement, starts talking to her cats and cooking World-Aid amounts of vegetarian food... My father stops dyeing his hair black, hangs up his badminton racquet and starts regular visits to the hospital. My sister marries and buys a house... and I...


... yes, I have changed too.


But just like the rain that comes from the clouds, the sun that lights up the sky and those hummingbirds that fly, here are the things I find have not changed, and the things that keep me coming Home:


(1) Sitting at the Balcony Bar on Orchard Road in the afternoon with a gin & tonic and watching the world go by
(2) The taste of Loy Kee chicken rice
(3) The silly music Citicab/Comfort plays over and over on the telephone as you wait for your taxi booking to be confirmed.
(4) The fact that my mum's chicken curry is still the best in the world!
(5) The crisp taste of an ice cold Tiger Beer at the Singapore Cricket Club/Quickie Club
(6) The quiet calm I feel when I sit outside Blk 69 and have a puff
(7) The slurp and bite in the Bak Chor Mee sold near Ian's house
(8) The horrible TV programmes shown on Channel 5 (can they get worse?!)
(9) The uncle who sells me Diet Coke downstairs and gives me a free packet of Marmee everytime
(10) The chatty taxi drivers getting hysterical over the "gah-men" on late night trips home
(11) The durian tree outside my flat - yes there really IS one!
(12) The smell of Old Spice in my father's bedroom.
(13) The chatter and gossip I can share with Ian over a bottle of wine at Wine Connection
(14) Sian Yan's little voice (I still can't hear it!)
(15) Leslie's sharp tongue (it never sliced things so fine!)
(16) Tania's laugh (it's just as loud as ever)
(17) Mehry and her crazy shopping (and she is still our little lamb)
(18) Sotong's legs (they could still qualify for that beauty contest we measured them for)
(19) Greggy's self-deprecation (and his eternally frustrating question "So how ARE you?")
(20) Duan and the things we talk about (and the number of cigarettes I end up smoking with her everytime we do)

These wonderful things have stayed the same so far. Then, there is that feeling I have whenever I see the Singapore skyline on the way home from the airport, and it's a wonderful "Welcome Home" time after time...

In a little while, I will switch off my computer at Blk 69, haul my suitcase down to Changi Airport and prepare myself for that 13 hour flight back to London. My mind is the inevitable muddle of tickets, passports and baggage check-in procedure. Still, somewhere in my head there is this twinge of fear. Yes - fear ... maybe because I am very aware that while I am away, some of the things I listed above in this post may change or end, and that when I come back Home next I may never find them again and they would be lost to me forever.

And yet I know that Change will come in its own time, and while it may take away some of the things I love, it will also bring new things my way. And I know that although I may feel the sense of loss when I lose things (as I very well may), the challenge will be to refrain from clutching and holding on tightly to the things that remain, simply because the harder I grasp and hold on, the more I may crush and destroy what I have, and the less likely I will be able to receive new treasures that come my way.
But for today, I have my list, and "(They) can't take that away from me" (as the song goes), for it records my memory of things are they are at present... and this little bit of sentimentality should be sufficient for now.


We will, each of us, take Tomorrow as it comes - Changes and all!

~~~

"I took my love. I took it down. Climbed a mountain and I turned around. I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills, till the landslide brought me down.

Oh, mirror in the sky: What is love? Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life? Oh... I don't know.

Well, I've been afraid of changing cause Ive built my life around you. But time makes you bolder. Even children get older. I'm getting older too.

Oh, take my love, take it down. Climb a mountain and turn around. If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills, well the landslide will bring it down.

If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills, well maybe the landslide will bring it down.

Stevie Nicks 1971

Do you believe in Time Travel?

Remember those old cassette tapes… the plastic black TDK ones with yards and yards of brown cellophane that your cat gleefully disembowels onto your bedroom floor…??

Well, guess what? I found one stashed away at the back of my DHL box last night.

Naturally I had to find out if it worked. So it was a veritable “Scouring of the Shire” to dig up a cassette player. After an hour (during which I stabbed my toe, discovered to my amazement that I owned five corkscrews and lost my mobile phone and found it again), I gratefully slotted the tape into my mother’s old Sony picnic radio - mercifully invested with a cassette compartment.

Then I waited.

For a while nothing happened… just a faint crackle of static as the old film yawned and stretched over slow turning wheels.

And then suddenly it happened - Time Travel… and you know what? I never even left the room!

When I finally returned to the present day, I sat on the floor, chin on my knees, thinking of all the wonderful songs that had kept me company over the years. You know…the sort of songs you don’t necessarily boast about on display shelves of your living room… the ones that make you unconsciously sigh or laugh when you hear them… the naughty secrets you openly deride in the company of people you want to impress, but same ones you cuddle with under the duvet at night. The cream-cracker ‘n’ chicken-soup comforters when things all around you fall apart…

So I came up with a list of songs - not a very long list mind, just ten! The ones that have humoured me the dizzy distractions of childhood and the aimless apathy after - and the ones I will confess here as among my most true and consistent of friends.

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1) Yesterday Once More - Carpenters

Ahh… we begin with the Carpenters!

They occupy a bashful and secret Cul-de-sac in my CD collection.

My mother told me that the very first song I learnt to sing was “Yesterday Once More”… and that I would emotively belt out the "Sha-la-la-las" and "Shing-a-ling-a-lings" at the age of two.

Somewhere in childhood, I must have undergone a little subconscious surgery… for somewhere inside me there is a little implanted switch that flips on whenever I hear Karen sing.

And oh my word… how she sings! What a wonder of a voice - a contradiction of angelic and human… both strong and vulnerable… disappointment and hope.

Beautiful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5NZI8NmBLA

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2) Alone Again Naturally - Gilbert O’Sullivan

Not many people know the name Gilbert O’Sullivan, but the moment they hear one of his songs on the radio they blurt out, “Hey! I know this one… it’s GREAT!”.

I probably heard this song for the first time on a radio as a five year old, and I never knew the words… there were far too many of them to memorise, and anyway, being the precocious prat I was, I merrily replaced them with my very own lyrics - undoubtedly about having to eat my greens and swallow my daily dose of cod liver oil!

I heard this song again when I was a 14 year old sitting in my mother’s car being driven to school in the mornings, and it was then that I realised what horribly harrowing lyrics it had! All that dark depression was however a most suitable mop-up for all the angst heaped on my plate at the time. I commissioned this my Theme Song for every time I felt sad or lonely. And being horribly hormonal at the time, there were a good many instances of this!

It was playing in my room when I was told that I had to shift secondary school because my mother was concerned that I would “go the wrong way”… (Ah, too late Mummy dearest!). I remember the empty despair I felt at leaving all my close friends at the time, and setting sail on a new sea of faces in a new school.

I know I listened to this song for days after I was told that Timmy, my first and favourite dog had to be put down.

Much later on, I remember playing this on my bedroom stereo when I broke up with someone I loved.

Gawd! What a gloriously gloomy gem! Love it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCZGqcMZ6Jw

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3) Grease (the Soundtrack)

“I’ve got chills…. they’re multiplyingggggg!!”

Apparently in the riverman~~~-household those chills bordered on obsessive compulsive disorder!

My little sister and I spent much of our early formative years brandishing hair-brushes as mics and prancing around the little stereo system in our nursery doing the Hand Jive and the ra-ma-la-ma-ding-dong…

See, it was a simple case of idolization:

My sister wanted to have John Travolta, and I wanted to BE John.

My mother once said that the funniest thing she ever saw was seeing me at the age of 4-5 clutching my heart in the most earnest and heart-felt of agonies of being “Hopelessly devoted to youuuuuu!”. I don’t even think I knew the meaning of half the words, but who could fault all that emotion?!

Ahhh, those endless summer nights of wishful thinking!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3hBlgo84BM

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4) Ma Baker - Boney M

This was the very first song I heard from Boney M. Yes, way before I even heard their uber-ridiculous Rivers of Babylon!

When I was 14 years old, my friends and I put up a school sketch/dance for our annual show. Being the motley bunch we were, we decided on a gangster theme… and being the boldest and blackest of the lot(yes - even then!), I was appointed the great Ma Baker herself.

To make a point about my Godfather heritage, I swaggered in a big black trench coat and black glasses and alternated between spinning a plastic toy pistol around in my hand and chewing on some gum. Yes, I aimed to strike fear into every mother and teacher’s heart... and I probably succeeded!

My three friends played my “sons” who got trigger happy with other “gangsters” and then got dramatically mowed down under machine gun fire from the girls from the National Police Cadet Corp (NPCC). It was my first attempt at directing and acting, and between the four of us, we spun a delightfully dark dramatic web over the whole school for a whole 5 minutes!

It was the beginning of a love affair with the stage that continues to this day.

More than 20 years have passed since my dramatic debut, and now whenever I hear that deep voice mutter Ma-ma-ma-ma… over the radio when it goes retro or when the dodgy music video comes up on the Karaoke screens, I can close my eyes and remember the four of us - forever young and fourteen… brimming with bravado… strutting the stage… dancing up a storm and bringing down the roof with applause.

Wow! Some things make you smile for a long time!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3AS6a6439Y

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5) How Deep is your Love - The Bee Gees

When I was 13 years old, I dedicated this song over the radio to a person I liked but was too shy to talk to. How typical of a young riverman in love! I had a million things I wanted to say and do, but I held it all in and resorted to romanticise the whole thing. Oh yes… for a good while I was Cyrano de Bergerac writing poetry for my Roxanne and Marc Anthony pining for Cleopatra. I was Lord Byron, Mr Keats and Mr Whitman rolled into one.

Then one day I woke up and beheld the Object of My Desire (OMD) walking hand-in-hand with a Johnny-come-lately. Wah-Ouch! The pain!!!

When I was 16 years old, this song came up on the TV when I watched Saturday Night Fever. I struggled to remember OMD’s name, but I still remembered all that sweaty-palmed sweet scare of first love. Later on, this was my Sunday-night-before-sleep-song while I was living at the hall in university… a contemplative lullaby for the end of a weekend.

It is a remarkable thing. To this day, whenever I hear this song, I don’t remember OMD’s name... but I still remember how I felt when I was 13 years old…

And it is true… the first cut is the deepest…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spBUUoBDS2I

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6) Landslide - Stevie Nicks

The first time I heard Fleetwood Mac was when I picked up this CD from the “Everything for S$3.00” box in Far East Plaza over on my way home from school.

In fact I have to thank that S$3.00 box for introducing me to magnificent company… from Leonard Cohen to Kate Bush…

But there is something uniquely unearthly and magical about Stevie Nicks. The song that grabbed me and shook me by the collar at age 16 was “Landslide”. When I hear this song I think of words unsaid and things undone. And in 35 years, there are quite a few of these!

The lyrics are poetry of the highest order:

Took my love, I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around,
and I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
'til the landslide brought it down.
Oh, mirror in the sky - what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail thru the changin' ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
I don't know.....
Well, I’ve been afraid of changin'
'cause I've built my life around you.
But time makes you bolder -
Even children get older, and I’m getting older too…

Most people would remember the Smashing Pumpkins version of this song, but for me, the definitive version is Stevie’s - A grinding hurt yearning… exposed and raw.

Take a listen, and you will understand…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8HDJDvfsfQ&mode=related&search

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7) I’m going slightly mad - Queen

Come on Reader! You knew Freddy would get on this list! The only question was which song?

The masses will go a-pumping 'n' a-charging out with “We are the Champions”, “We will Rock You” and “Radio Ga-ga”. And oh yes… I know that the people who know me well enough would expect me to predictably plonk “Bohemian Rhapsody” here as a majestic be all and end all.

But no, I will pick this quirky little treasure from the Innuendo album instead.

I first heard this song when I was 18 years old, and I loved the crazy words. It was only two years later, after Freddie had passed on, that I learnt that he had actually been very far down the HIV route when this song was produced. He was not able to perform without heavy make up because of the lesions, and that accounted for the theme of the music video. Throughout the making of the video, Freddie was in pain, but what a consummate performer! You could never see his agony.

This song has a light-hearted significance as well. It was the one song I perpetually kept blasting while I was in the hall in university to piss the living daylights out of my bitchy opera loving neighbour two doors down.

Those poor girls of “D” Block probably learnt all the words to the song by the time they checked out at the end of the year!

That's enough reason, I think, to send apologies to poor Mary-Lamb who had to wander her pastures with permanently attached ear-plugs…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNBWf54RvsI

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8) All I want - Toad the Wet Sprocket


In my humble opinion there are not enough people in the world who know and remember Toad the Wet Sprocket.

I heard this while I was in the Army, and I fell in love with this simple song. I listen to this today and remember how our platoon Sergeant played this on his radio while we polished our grimy guns to perfection before we could pack up and check out of the camp on the weekend. We all inserted our own heart-felt words in place of the lyrics, and some of it probably went like this:

“All I want is to go back home
Is to fall asleep…
Is to watch TV…”

I listen to this song today, and I remember my MINDEF days when my life began after 5.30 pm every weekday. I remember sitting in a friend’s house in Bukit Batok and working out my very first song to his guitar. I remember Marlboro Menthol Lights and the yellow smoking box outside the Gombak canteen. I remember Ice Cold Beer and Coronas at Emerald Hill and the wind in my hair at 1 am on a Saturday morning as we drove that mini at 130 km an hour down Bukit Timah…

And I sometimes wonder:

Where are you Arlene and Aik-jai?

Where are you Mark and Veronica?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yP0dQEUBaM

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9) Nightswimming - REM

Nightswimming is special to me.

I played this on my discman when I was on my way home on the 167 bus after work. It was a terrible time I remember. My mind was a muddle of decisions I didn't know how to make.

Do I do my law degree?
Do I go abroad for that?
Am I going to regret all this?

I peppered my day with deadlines and chores to keep busy with, so I would not have the time to (God forbid!) think… but when I was finished with all the mundane, I was left with REM and a thirty minute bus ride home.

The words are simple, but what power!

Nightswimming deserves a quiet night
The photograph on the dashboard, taken years ago,
Turned around backwards so the windshield shows
Every streetlight reveals the picture in reverse
Still, it's so much clearer
I forgot my shirt at the water's edge
The moon is low tonight
Nightswimming deserves a quiet night
I'm not sure all these people understand
It's not like years ago,
The fear of getting caught,
Of recklessness and water
They cannot see me naked
These things, they go away,
Replaced by everyday…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Z8sr4oCS94

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…and finally, do I need to introduce this timeless friend?

10) Riverman - Nick Drake

Betty came by on her way Said she had a word to say About things today And fallen leaves Said she hadn’t heard the news Hadn’t had the time to choose A way to lose But she believes Gonna see the river man Gonna tell him all I can About the plan For lilac time If he tells me all he knows About the way his river flows And all night shows In summertime Betty said she prayed today For the sky to blow away Or maybe stay She wasn’t sure For when she thought of summer rain Calling for her mind again She lost the pain And stayed for more Gonna to see the river man Gonna to tell him all I can About the ban On feeling free If he tells me all he knows About the way his river flows I don’t suppose It’s meant for me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYeUT77W188

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Oh, how they come and go... Oh. how they come and go...

~~~