Raindrops

It's getting pretty cold nowadays.

Nature's all Tooth 'n' Claw today, and I am allowing her to bite deep. It's that familiar drudgy mucky cusp between summer and autumn. So, I stand in my doorway and watch sweeping rains wash away the evidence of last weekend's summer barbecue, and beat and stir the grass into a little lake in the middle of my garden.

In a little while when the clouds dissolve into the night and the cricket choir under my neighbour's hedge takes up the chorus... I will curl in front of my little clay pot fire and start on that book my friend loaned me - a promise of floppy dog-eared companionship for the rest of the night. But for now, I will do a little indoor laundry and string out a few words on this post to dry.

Here is an almost Forest Gump type quote: “Life is like a rainbow. You need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear.” So I do not begrudge the rain when it falls, and the best thing one can do when it is raining is simply to let it rain.

It's like that grand song:

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head

And just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed,

Nothin' seems to fit

Those raindrops are fallin' on my head, they keep fallin'

So, I just did me some talkin' to the sun

And I said I didn't like the way he got things done,

Sleepin' on the job
Those raindrops are fallin' on my head, they keep fallin'

But there's one thing I know

The blues they send to meet me won't defeat me

It won't be long 'til happiness steps up to greet me

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head

But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red

Cryin's not for me

'Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'

Because I'm free

Nothin's worryin' me

I can't really say in all honesty that "nothin's worrying me". See Reader, tomorrow I leave for Munich... and those of you who know me best know just why I am going and what it means to me. My mind's a mighty muddle right now of "Should-and-Could-and-Will-it-all-work-out", and as much as I shout the proverbial Que-Sera-Sera over all the confusion, I can't seem to drown the clamouring kerfuffle of the dizzilion-dissonant voices in my head...

Decisions are scary things, and I am pretty much at a personal crossroads of sorts... It is unbelievably difficult to turn the other cheek to the blows of insecurity... Then there is the fear of being hurt, and knowing that being hurt is part of Love and Life in all its gritting beauty. But in the same way that I watched summer giving up her fight today, my brain's wearing down, and my heart is beginning to speak.

And I know that one way or another, whatever-will-be, will all come to Be... It's as invariable and as certain as those raindrops which will keep a-falling...

~~~