The things we do...

There have been some wonderful songs written about friends... some diabetically sweet and some simply pure cheesy... and over the years when we hear these played on the radio we vacillate between the choke in the throat and the cringe down the spine. This week I have embedded three that I find the most enduring here on this blog - anthemic and overpowering and yet simple and true.


The best and most precious thing you can receive from anyone is their time, (simply because it is in such short supply!) and my friends give me so much of that... From the quiet discussion in a parked car in the late evening ... to the painstaking shuffling through songs to download into an iPod ... to determined shopping missions for LCD televisions that make me forget about lunch ... to the raucous hilarity of late night theatrics that leave me going home laughing with an ache in my abdomen no gym session ever achieved.

And before I sign off for this week, this is my present to you wonderful people who made me smile last night: a little bit of nostalgia from the days we spent in the hall in university. I present the latest KRX production staged and shot in true technicolour splendour on the parquet floors we know and love so well at East Coast Avenue...

Good Lord! The things we do...

Wee-Drama-Seah productions presents...

A PEE-IN-YOUR-PANTS PRODUCTION BY
KRX (alumni)

THE TRAGEDY OF BABY PLASTIC BAG

(a true story - so donch la-a-fff wan!)

One evening at Tania's house after eating a lot of ayam-buah-keluak and chillied "oh-burrr-jeans" Greggy realised that he was pregnant.

This remarkable state of affairs made Greggy smile contentedly - as you can see here.

At long last after a most uneventful pregnancy, Baby Plastic Bag was born amidst much pain and exhaustion (on the part of Baby Plastic Bag of course).

Greggy simply seemed to be having a "great time" throughout the ordeal...

When Baby Plastic Bag was placed in his arms, Greggy felt an immense sense of joy and pride. Who would have thought that Ayam Buah Keluak would result in such miracles?!

Here is a shot of Baby Plastic Bag at his Christening. Greggy looks the picture of maternal bliss... Nobody dared tell Greggy that it was a plastic bag he was holding...

...but this happy situation was not to last for long...

Tania had been sitting quietly for an hour, and finally couldn't resist pointing out the obvious:

"Ha Ha Ha! Greggy gave birth

to plastic bag one... some more from NTUC in Hougang!"

Greggy couldn't believe his ears!!! A NTUC BAG??? And from HOUGANG!???

A pounding rage filled his head.

It was then that every

one at the Christening started voicing their concerns:

(1) Why was Baby Plastic Bag so low class one... from NTUC, and not Cold Storage or The Marketplace???

(2) How could anyone want to give birth to something from Hougang!?

(3) Did this mean that Greggy would have to start living (shudder!!!) at Hougang and shopping (God forbid!!!) at NTUC???

N-NN-NO-O-O-O-o-o-o-o!!!

In a fit of what can only be described as madness, Greggy strangled little Baby Plastic Bag while the rest of the guests at the Christening watched with a mixture of horror and humour.

Baby Plastic Bag crumpled under Greggy's hands, and after a good deal of mangle-ment finally lay still.

Very very still.

Greggy stood and looked at Baby Plastic Bag's little pale and wrinkled body. The rest of the crowd suddenly went quiet, realisation washing over them... They had witnessed the cold blooded murder of a little Hougang NTUC plastic bag...

Greggy was stunned. Baby Plastic Bag was dead.

Yes... D-E-D ... Dead

And he had committed murder in front of so many witnesses!

What a stupid thing to do! He may as well go and live in Hougang!

This thought was enough to make him instantaneously develop a large ulcer in his stomach and fall dead...

Yes... D-E-D - Dead!

The crowd at the Christening looked at Greggy's and Baby Plastic Bag's bodies and shook their heads. How predictably outrageous for a Wee-Drama-Seah Production...

Quietly, the crowd laid out Greggy and Baby Plastic Bag on a funeral pyre made out of Tania's broken bedroom furniture, and adorned with offerings of soft multicoloured jelly; pineapple tarts; an empty box of Chivas Regal; three sizable oranges that looked a little mouldy and an almost empty packet of Virginia Slims.

As flames engulfed the body, and the room filled with smoke, Sian Yan couldn't help but mention (in her little voice) that under the crackle of the wood, she heard a faint rustle from Baby Plastic Bag...

THE END FOR NOW...

...to be continued...

Producer

Wee-Drama-Seah

Scriptwriter

Leslie Sharp Tongue

Cinematographer/Production Designer

Wee all!

Unit Production Manager

Sotong Seah

First/Second/Third Assistant Camera

Wee/Drama/Seah

Gaffer / "Laugh-er"

The one with the hair!

Dolly Grip

"Got Dolly meh???"

This motion picture was in no way authorized, sponsored or endorsed by NTUC, Cold Storage, The Marketplace, nor was any portion of the motion picture filmed inside a Primary School, Airport, Catholic Church or a moving vehicle (just in case you wanted to know). The events, characters and other entities (including the plastic bag) depicted in this motion picture are fictitious (even though we said earlier that this was a true story - actually we lied lah... so next time donch believe us), and any similarity to actual persons, events or other entities other than Greggy and the plastic bag are purely coincidental.

No plastic bags or people from Hougang were harmed while filming.

in memory of

KWANG/MONSTER/

ANIMAL/UFO

(Always remembered... Forever uncontactable!)

~~~